today when the ah ma told me that he might be coming over, i was like huh.. deep inside me, i feel like running away.. i dunno why.. yesh i still feel like seeing him..but yet at the same time, i am too tired to face him.. its so confusing.. you wanna see someone yet at the same time you dun wanna see him..haha. i guess i dun mind seeing him seeing me..haha.. i guess i am still not ready to face him face to face in any near future.. i am not being petty bah.. but its just too much for me to take.. and enough is enough.. its over the line, over the limit which i could handle.. of course, whatever happened took two hands to clap, of course i have to bear part of the responsibility, but i am so sick of his indecisiveness, am so sick of his ignorance.. am so sick of being a substitue.. though he says i aint one, but well who would admit it up? haha.. he doesnt even bother to ask how am i, even when i cried, never even bother to wish me good luck when he plainly knew i got exams, never even bother to ask hows my attachment..never.. its always a never.. tired.. really tired of being taken for granted..maybe its for the best, things are turned out this way for i guess i never will have the heart to break contact..at least now, i have a reason to do so..at least i can convince myself he is no longer worth any of my single tear, effort ...