i dunno if i am becoming independent day by day or that i am getting withdrawn to myself day by day.. i realise i dun really like to engage in a conversation nowadays.. i realise sometimes, i dun wish to talk to anyone... sometimes i realise i just want to stay at home, read my book, off th e phone and indulge in my own world ... sometimes it happened even when i am with my close friends.. i am just lazy to talk? i dunno..but i just feel i shouldnt continue this way...but i am used to this way...

i choose who i want to talk to, who i want to go out with, who i want to reply messages to.. i haven forgotten how many excuses i have cooked up to reject that persistnet person.. can i just sigh?? every time i received his sms or call, i will always hestitate, not knowing to pick up or to hang up and say i am in the midst of something(even when i am not?) haha..i dunno why i am like this today...thinking of it, i find it scarely.. thinking of it, i find my patience running thin for people who always like to provoke me, even just to tease... i dun like it when people have fun at the expenses of bringing someone down.. yet some people just dont change...

dreams are wierd... i dreamt of my cousin..since a long time i dreamt of her..but once i woke up, i could instantly remembered that she was in my dreams... yet i have no recollections of the content... i dreamt of him too..which is wierd cos ever since then, i distracted myself from anything to do with him... its amazing that humans have silent tears... ha..