keY tO mY heArt

2009-08-16T23:12:00.005+08:00

Have been contemplating whether to go down this blog of mine. It was borned as a place for me to pour out all my emotions and to share those unheard voices. But as the years go by, I seldom blog.

2 more weeks and I will be back to the old team. Despite the distance, the internal transfer actually made me see more, hear more, learn more, know more. Pros and cons. A few things to miss will be the current team, the great food and the fast pace envioronment. The short stay also made me think, if this is really what I want. I hate people who cant think long term, hate people who are so blinded by opinons of others, that they forgot the future of their own. Worse, some are just living day by day, not sincerely keen in seeking employment, despite their financial situation. Gosh! I cant imagine myself being outlived by those bunch of mo***s.

It has been 2 years since I last sprained/dislocate my shoulder. I remembered I first did so whilst playing badminton. 2 weeks ago, i dislocated my shoulder and was rushed to TTSH. No thanks to the cabby, who simply have no sense of sympathy. Driving at fast speed, turning at sharp angle, heck-care-to-humps. Hellos, mr-about-to-bald-uncle, your lousy driving skills is simply like salt to my wound. Thank godness, only the smelly uncle was mean to me. I was being attended to almost immediately, without having to wait 2 hours. However, i suspected they did not manage to do a close-to-perfect job in fixing back my shoulder as i still feel pain at certain angle. Guess i just have to visit my-favourite-Ma Kuang.

GOOD NEWS!!!I have managed to curb my SHOPPING
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
by playing MJ!!!! A step closer to being tai tai. =)

2009-07-13T13:17:00.005+08:00

Hi Guys!

Have been MIA for a short while. Dont worry! I am still on planet Earth =) (have not been driven into my grave by d@ddy..haha)

d@ddy is definitely not the best husband in the world, but he is definitely trying his best to be the best hubby to me. FYI, I am still diligently grilling and educating him. Haha, give me more time.. NO! i should say, give ANDY more time, to be the best hubby to me..

Caught the show "Transformer" with his colleagues. It is their company event, more to say. The show started at 11am, committee members gather at 930am to have a quick breakfast @ Toast Box and started the preparation work at 10.00am. Efforts behind the sceen met with complaints of the rest of (inconsiderate) co-workers. Shall not go into details, shall not stand the complaints and I left the sceen to a book store - Page One.

Disappointed to find limited range of novels, but came to the section of Literature. Having noted that the prices range from $30 and above, I dropped the idea of purchasing a Literature book and chose a one that I did not manage to finish in secondary days. It may seem... too kiddish..but who cares? Its for my reading pleasure, for me to destress, for me to kill time during the hour long journey. And my latest entertainment is - Toto Chan.

2009-05-29T12:34:00.003+08:00

Time flies and I have been working in the company for the past 1 year. Manager bought me the simplest cookbook, in hope I will throw a housewarming party soon, and to serve them the finger food. And the coming welfare is a baking crashcourse. Gosh! Gimme a break.. ha!

2009-05-29T12:31:00.002+08:00

had a frightening dream a few nights ago. it was a heart-wrenching dream. It pained me to feel the pain in the dreams. I am glad I have walked out of it. But i hope, memories would fade too. Afterall, it has been close to 4 years, isnt it.

2009-05-17T10:35:00.002+08:00

Exams for students have come to an end. Tuitions have stopped for 2 of my students during this period, meaning more rest and of cos, less income, less SHOPPING!!

2009-05-05T21:28:00.001+08:00

圈圈，圈圈
女孩徘徊着

走了，走了
男孩走了

真的，真的
他真的走了

傻傻，傻傻
女孩等待着

心碎了
眼红了

泪流了
累了
睡了

醒了
想了
历史重复了

2009-05-04T12:19:00.019+08:00

BACK from TAIWAN!! As many expected, I spent and shopped like there is no tomorrow. I bought 30 over tops, 3 dresses, 2 bags, 7 pairs of shoes, 1 pair of boots and other small items like namecard holder, accessories and mascara.. hee..i shall let the photos do the talking!!

bringing Uki to MIL's place before heading to airport.

looking out of the window..

blur snap of us in the cab

our first stop at taipei!

look at the loooong queue!

hungry man in the queue

not losing any moment to EAT!

i got the food!!!

long shan shi temple..

.: us :.

closed up view =)

on the 89th floor of Taipei 101

gosh! is he touching the wind damper??!!

the side dishes

the desserts =D

me with the sides and cakes

getting ready to attack the cakes!!

look at his eggs..

look at mine =(..we went there twice..twice the same..BoOOooo

yu ren ma tou

to be continued..

2009-04-12T22:28:00.004+08:00

was actually looking for eyebrow pencil when d@ddy spotted this! a mascara wand that vibrates and it really vibrates while lengthing, volumizing my lashes. effortless! walked off upon learning the price but d@ddy told me to get it if i really like it.. so i went back and tried and now its MINE!!! thanks hubby!!!!

2009-04-04T10:33:00.003+08:00

Headed to Gleneagles ytd morning, without the company of anyone. Initially I was kinda sore about it but Jo P. comforted saying its an x-ray which wouldnt take too long to complete. So I went okayyyy and sms-ed d@ddy that i would go on my own. Had Delifrance after the x-ray. Read a long over-due book while waiting for my piping hot beef lasagnas to be served. To my surprise, it came with a complimentary dessert. I was half way into my lunch when the clinic called to inform I could collect the films. Heck care them and took my time. By the time I left the hospital, it was close to noon. Had the time in the world to while away. Took a bus to orchard. The normal liNg will be over the moon, happier than striking Totos and 4Ds (if i ever buy?).. but nah.. i had practically no mood to walk around. I felt moody and lost. Nothing catch my beautiful eyes. Well, maybe a coach bag? But since i just received my bday present barely a month ago, i din even ask for the selling price of the coach bag. I left for tuition then.

Believe me, I took a bus to my destination. For a change, i felt peace with myself. Trains of thoughts enveloped the journey on bus, not forgetting the music bursting my ears. I almost forgot how peacefulness felt. Recently i have been dashing from work to tuition, via cabs. I took cab almost everyday. I am too tired to take public transport. I feel less tired when taking a cab to tuition.

Went for a BBQ gathering organized by my colleagues and hang around for 2 hours before heading home. daddy's friend had some family matter to attend to and has to get Bobo to stay with us. She is HUGE man. seeing her backview make me link to another animal, but i felt very mean to even comment that to daddy.. anyway.. i still feel uki is the best. afterall, she is ours. =))

2009-03-28T10:07:00.002+08:00

7 years ago, they tied the knot. He said he loved her. barely a year later, she left us and the love was replaced by the greed of money. 6 years down the road, her presence was felt, her reluctance to leave us was felt, ritual needs to be down. He, the one who proclaimed his everlasting love, said he need to consider parting $500 as a contribution for the cost of the ritual. d@ddy and i paid for it instead. Love? kiss your mum's ass, son of a fucking whore. like mother, like son. what comes around goes around. save the money den, to buy a better quality coffin for ur mum.

amazing, tears dropped when i saw this granny struggling. tot of her. we werent very close, but i saw her almost everyday for the 22 years of my life. i know, its the end of her terribe pain, i know, i know. but.. i wished, u were here again.

2009-03-23T12:42:00.002+08:00

Many asked, "So any particular feelings to share now that you are officially married, having gone through the Chinese customary?" and like i told many, there is no difference? During our dating days, i often stayed over at his place and in Sept last year, we moved into our own home. So, its just under-going traditional customary to be recognised by both parties' families?

Wedding day & night was tremdously tiring and from time to time, there will be someone to irritate me. Needless to say, it comes from the older generation. But well, i am glad it is over.

A special and big day of ours made me realise how fragile friendship is between him 1 and him 2. i am super duper irritated, anger and disappointed with him 1. All i can say is, you do graduate from the same secondary school with bt. same attitude, same character. dun bother to explain, just merely MIA.

as for him 2, a sincere apology brings peace to us. but it comes at the expense of me telling her off. which i feel, i should add on more. anyway, as long as you are happy with her, we will be happy for you too. hope she will learn and grow up soon.

going on a short trip to celebrate our 2nd year! wanna go on 9th april, to celebrate 10 April there.. but the tickets are not worth the destination and i certainly dun wanna be caught in their festive celebration.. aiming to swipe clean the stores!

2009-02-19T16:49:00.001+08:00

Its has been a while since I last blog. Life is too busy, too hectic and I am spared with little time to blog. but amazingly, I have time to read others’ blogs. Amazing huh..

Just turned 24 a few days ago.. it was a peaceful birthday.. peaceful meaning to say, no BIG surprises from d@ddy, no presents from him either. And he is the FIRST to break the records. My first bday with him as husband and wife is so dull. So meaningless. So sad. Post bday flowers and post presents (if there ever will be…) well, kinda disappointed and sad.. not kinda sad but very sad.. well cos.. I am used to my bfs making it special? Like my 19th bday bt planned?

Speaking of BT.. received an sms from him. Last year I received a bday card from him. Tore it and informed him I have moved. Crap.

I am tired. If I can choose again, maybe.. I will walk another path.

2009-02-08T13:34:00.003+08:00

the same thought surface almost immediately every first waking hour. there are many things i am unhappy about. many. though i know some cant be helped, but still i am unhappy. i cant even control my own anger/temper. i am tired. i lost my life. i lost me.

2009-02-03T23:26:00.003+08:00

mum called to say "lets say if we buy something for you, do you want gold or white gold" haha..and of course i would want white gold.. and i went on to ask if there would be any diamonds.. haha and she insisted on buying purely white gold with no diamonds as she claimed she dun have so much money to spend on worthless stones. her budget of 2++k was supposed to get me a 4 set wedding jewellery but i really dun need 8 pieces of jewelleries as mum-in-law (MIL) would be buying for me soon as well.. and so she relented and asked me to choose the piece that i like best.

this is also the very first time she keep urging me to buy. ask me to decide on the spot! i was like.. i haven finish comparing leh.. went lee hwa and saw the bracelet i like.. 4k odd.. after discount, its around 2.3k.. gosh so bloody ex.. went to citi gems.. showed her the bracelet which is ~500 bucks.. but mum tot it was too small, too tiny, too fragile.. and saw another one similar to lee hwa.. after discount its ard 1.4k... she ask me to buy that one.. but i tot..hmm.. the price could fetch me a better branding.. so i insisted on seeing more..last stop at goldheart..saw another similar bracelet and we bought that @ 1.9K.. All done in less than 30 minutes. thanks mom =))

2009-01-27T09:47:00.001+08:00

I fell sick last week. feeling feverish every now and then and even lost my voice. ha.. and to my surprise, hubby delivered flowers to my office! haha!

i see, i want, i get.

2009-01-27T09:28:00.003+08:00

CNY is always a happy occasion that i am always looking forward to. No for now, i should say, CNY was always a happy occasion that i used to look forward to.

As there were only 3 granddaughters (M, T and me) on my mom' side, we were very close back then. I was the youngest and my eldest cousin, M, would always bring me out and i would always stay at her house during holidays. CNY was a worthy occasion to look forward to until 7 years ago when the 2nd cousin, T, decided to get married, well i would say its more to leaving with no choice. She seldom join us and i am only left with M. M got married a year later but we still went out frequently. She even got a flat at Senja which was near to my house and mentioned i could stay over more frequently once the building is up. We missed each other on the next CNY and thereafter, we missed each other forever. I hope that bloody bitch is still being hunted in her nightmares. She is a murderer.

And so CNY was just me and the relatives. To date, I am still happy with them cos they dote on me and i can be "rude" with them and they dont mind. But its not going to be the same soon. Granny passed away, i have to go more places to bai nian, doing things i dun like. i cant collect anymore red packets. this year CNY is so cold. unhappy. sad.

life is sad huh.

2009-01-14T14:38:00.001+08:00

tml is xy and bf 1 yr anni.. and her bf sent flowers to the office..sooooOOooo sweet..

for a long moment, i cant rmm any romantic gesture from him. haiz

2009-01-10T10:11:00.002+08:00

By now, i am sure fear creeps deeper into each and one as the market gets weaker day by day, and recession being a cruel reality. Recession is scary, isnt it. We all know we need to pump more money into the market, to circulate the money so that the market will pick up. And i see many Singaporeans trying their very best to aid. Resturants are still overly crowded, sales are up everywhere to attract more potential buyers and most importantly toto-4Ds queue never seem to shorten. And hence, i will try to do my part too.

Minor hiccup during gown fitting. They actually thought i am going to wear Kua for photo-shooting and did not alter my tea-dress at all. And i had to wait there wearing my gown, allowing the makeup artisit to take photos of me. Tml is the shooting day. But we have not tot of any good places. Ha

2008-12-27T21:23:00.002+08:00

never ever tot that i would encounter such a person.. i dunno if you are really happy go lucky but what i know is, you are downright selfish. fucking selfish. of your own mistake, i dunno how many people have you dragged down. time and time you tried to hit on our place. oh come on. i am only 23.. maybe 24 soon but so WHAT? i still can choose, if i wan to. if you wan your beloved brother to suffer, so be it. utimately, i never and will continue to disregard what people say/see me. this is the last time i allow him to help you. after that, its either me or you. i dun care if war breaks out. i never allow myself to suffer for someone i blacklist. for him, out of love, i allow this to take place. for the last time. save your money for yourself. i shall see how long the profits last.

and fyi, i can afford the things i WANT/NEED. i wld never ever need ur second hand things. get the fact right. cos first i am me and second you are so so so so blacklisted.

and people, get this right, i am only married to him alone. not you people. dun expect me to wait on you or to listen to ur unreasonables. dream on.

gosh! iNg is so suffering..

2008-12-26T04:09:00.002+08:00

the very first thing that occurred on Christmas Day at his family gathering was to be chided by his mom. IN FRONT OF ALL RELATIVES. i barely stepped in for 30 seconds, and her machine gun started. she chided me not greeting the relatives and lots of crap. HELLO! cant u see I am in the midst of sending out an sms reply. its not that i dun wan to greet. Andy has not even finished his greetings to the relatives. CANT U WAIT? bloody hell. and so i cut in and greeted an angry "AUNTIE" and sat myself down. but the nagging goes on. so i stormed off and i could hear her nagging STILL.

i am HOKKIEN. not TEOCHEW. I am HUMAN, not ALIEN. treat me with respect and you will get urs. dun take me as invisible. if your mj skills so great, go play in casinos la.. if i throw the wrong tile and u wanna let me know, go thru me directly la. i am jus sitting beside/opposite u. how big is one mj table? like FUCK.

the old saying goes sth like "marriage is the tomb of love".. how true..

i wish time can turn back. i wan to be single again. i am v v v v unhappy. very.

2008-12-22T22:37:00.004+08:00

i work doubly hard. hold a full time job, give tuition after work and on weekends. yes i must admit there are times i cancel tuition to go shopping. am i irresponsible? maybe, maybe not? but i am only a human. i need breaks.

how well do you really understand me? how well? must everything be clear to you only upon verbal communication, or in black and white?

i dun like that idea at all. not at all. its invasion to my privacy. to something that is ours. yes the things are dead, the things can be arranged nicely. but they dont go with my deco. they dont! and they dun belong here! they are an eyesore! I hate them!

i feel so wei qu. so wei qu. everything that is most important in a lifetime is being compromised. everything. so many unhappiness, so many. its so difficult to bottle them up and act okay. this is simply not iNg. the old iNg gets her ways, most wld give in to her whims and whines. but now, i am suffering. . maybe that explains why i dun feel like talking to you anymore.. physically close but as time grows, i am so tired of having to state everything so clearly. i wish you could read my mind more. i wish its true you place me above all. but obviously, its bullshit..

i hate everything. if i can choose again, maybe i wont go with this path. its beginning to weigh me down.. no longer happy.. this is not my home anymore. it has become their storage space.. and i am working hard to provide them the storage space.

ICUCIC U

2008-12-15T16:04:00.002+08:00

13 days to my trial make up

27 days to my first fitting & photo taking day

35 days to CNY

61 days to my BDAY & V DAY

82 days to our BIG DAY!!!

cant wait!

2008-12-11T10:58:00.002+08:00

she has really gone.

2008-12-04T14:41:00.002+08:00

at least, he told me so.

2008-12-04T14:29:00.002+08:00

When Boy truly loved Girl, he couldnt pretend to hate her.
Similarly, when Boy truly lost the love for Girl, he couldnt pretend he still love her.
The saddest thing in a relationship is to accept the fact that he/she no longer loves her/him.
Love is a growing journey between Boy and Girl, to test the love that bonds two hearts into one.
If Boy does not choose to grow together with Girl, what can Girl do? LL loh.
It doesnt matter if Boy doesnt want to be Girl forever, just save all the crap and wishes. CRAP.
Tried and tested. Disappointment followed by hatred. Hatred dissolved into mixed feelings of longingness and love. Which again, solidified to be disappointment.
Enough is enough. What comes around goes around.

2008-11-24T21:15:00.003+08:00

你有权利情绪化,你不一定要坚强,
但有些事情不能伪装,别为自己受了跨。
我都失去的悲伤,也都进退的挣扎,
但想起过去都是失望,又何必要放不下。
是习惯还是爱,不放心还是不甘心,没那么爱他
只有你自己知道解答,即使你没有那么爱他,
真的不需要那么想他

2008-11-20T21:20:00.001+08:00

the tunnel may be dark now, but one day, you will reach the end of the tunnel.
fear not, be strong. and happiness will return.

2008-11-18T21:23:00.003+08:00

Its 8 years of friendship we are went through and counting on.
Is it worth over him to block us out?
Is it even fair to us?

2008-11-18T21:18:00.002+08:00

Grandma, from the paternal side, is supposed to be discharged sat. However, she was being asked to extend her stay once again, to run more tests. test, test, test. so many tests yet when asked, the doctors cant give a solid good answer. then what the hell are you testing? testing our patience?

Grandfather, from the maternal side, was hospitalised too. Hubby's aunt was hospitalised too, shifted from ICU to normal ward.

may all the illness, disease be gone with 2008.

2008-11-08T21:47:00.003+08:00

The first thing I noticed as I neared the ward was my father's eyes. This is the first time i see him cry. Or rather, his eyes were very red, from the forced-back-tears. It is the same for my uncle too. He was sitting there, and the next moment, i saw his eyes getting redder. Tears did not flow but evidence was strong.

Grandma has been hospitalised for 2 weeks and she got thinner and thinner, weaker and weaker. Today, most relatives came down to the ward after receiving the call from the hospital.

I didnt stay long. Not with aunts and uncles crying silently. I dont want to sob too. Had a hard time forcing tears down.

I hope this ordeal will be over soon, let her respond to the antibotics. I want her to attend my tea ceremony, my wedding dinner.

2008-10-30T09:46:00.001+08:00

|iNg is stressed, unhappy and fat.

2008-10-14T13:02:00.027+08:00

*blink blink* i have been Mrs Tan for two weeks odd. Things are unchanged less the fact that i put on weight (cos the things i put in the fridge will no longer disappear unknowingly), less the fact that my princess's hand no longer seemed like a princess's hand cos somehow it got rougher day by day. Anyway, on a soft note, I am still happy being andy tan's baby and pretty wife. Below are the photos taken on our ROM.. enjoy =)

.: the happy hubby to be :.

.:the happy couple :.

.: the pretty wife to be :.

2008-10-03T11:58:00.001+08:00

pissed. i learnt sth, pretty faces dun have pretty hearts. one more time, prepare for ur own consequences. FUCK!

2008-09-09T12:59:00.035+08:00

|iNg is on mc for three days! ha..down with an infection and fever..luckily all the services are up in my new house..if not, i will tear. okies.. i am not in a tip top condition to blog, so i will let the photos do the talking. enjoy!

below are photos of renovation done by the previous owners and the renovation done by us =))

2008-09-06T23:50:00.002+08:00

moving hse is indeed v tiring..and whenever i couldnt squeeze in any more clothes, i will start to curse..haha.. and in the end, i just decided to throw..my laptop decided to die on me in the months of my absence..so today, i went to buy a new laptop..and a 3-in-1 printer..*grinz*

my house is now declared as MOVE-IN_ANYTIME condition but d@ddy wanna stick to the chinese calendar..haiz..must we?hmm.. i love my new house!! heez..

there are so many changes to my ROM.. one moment, no traditional dinner, one moment i am going to have both..haiz..tian ah!

2008-09-05T08:15:00.002+08:00

like what d@ddy said, they do love me. its just that they like to mask their love. went back to my former house to pack and tugged 3 luggages and 1 container with my shoes. but still i am not done packing my own room.. i actually muttered "ta ma de" to myself..and cursed myself for buying so many things. haha..but it all accumulated for so many years right..cannot be blamed..i still have tons to pack..bought them to view my new house, to my mom, its very expensive and small..and she is especially worried that the inexperienced me would fall to my death when trying to bring out my laundry from the 19th storey..haha..but i was really very touched by their gesture. very. thanks =)

2008-08-27T08:21:00.002+08:00

Renovation is about 90% done..just need to touch up here and touch up there..heez..hopefully by this week, i am able to get my keys to OUR HOME!!!

just as we were leaving for woodlands, received a sms from Mako, counting down to the date of my ROM. haha..and i called him.. chatted for 15 mins.its was a hearty talk! oh gosh! i miss him *HUGS*

2008-08-24T22:09:00.001+08:00

i aint heartless.

happy bday, bt.

2008-08-20T08:10:00.005+08:00

I am counting down to the end of the renovation work. I cant wait to move my things in, to chop my terriority and to illegally park my clothings at his designated area.. HAHA..*evil*

anyway the contractor did not pass the most updated colour scheme to his workmen and hence on Monday, the whole house was painted with the wrong colour. But luckily, the whole house was fully painted yesterday! *YEAH* but haiz.. the painting skill really chui..even I can tell its not v v perfect! haiz.. hopefully the wardrobes will be good, if not i wont hesitate to scream at them..

thinking back, i have screamed at the person who amended my qty of taps, and yesterday i screamed at the guy in charge of my lights. apparently, they packed my dining light weeks ago and defects surfaced. We had given them both our contact numbers, but d@ddy's number was not clearly indicated and no one called me. And the salesperson left the company. And so i screamed at the person taking over. cos he did not go through the list and well, he allows us to choose another design of our choice, despite the price. but no way! in the end, he has to DHL the whole lamp to taiwan to fix the chipped glass. and if he doesnt deliver before i move in (2nd week of sept), i am going to tear him apart.

i cant stand all these hiccups which can be prevented easily. by informing me right away on the wrong qty and on the defects found, it would reflect better on their customer service. but since i spent 3k on them, and customer satisifaction is not met, sorry, eat my shit.

2008-08-16T23:05:00.016+08:00

heys peeps, yeah iNg is backz! cos the internet is back @ his house! haha.. life without internet was kinda wierd even though i usually dont stay up late during weekdays. but still.. i love easy access to everything!

Had bbq with the usual suspects last saturday.. it was another succesfull bbq (excpet that the organizer forgot to buy forks la, charcoal la.. hahaha) at least this time, we din waste food! heez..and oops sorry for the wrong infor people! haha.. i tot GIANT will still sell most of the mariated items...haha..caught Love Guru after the bbq..its was a comical movie..hee nice ncie.. but why din we take any photos huh?hmm... *reflect* hahaha

Renovation work is considered smooth-sailing less the few hiccups (which i shall complain NOW!)..Dear hunks and babes, pls do not patronize IMM Level 3 Asia Excel. There was a mistake in the invoice. I bought 2 taps @ $94 each. the lady wrote 2 qty but the amt she indicated $94. and when they realised the mistake before delivery, she happily amend the qty on her own invoice and din notify any of us! and the worse thing is, there wasnt any hint of sincere apology. they simply say they are accountable to the management, hence they have to change the qty. like huh? what kind of service is this? i spent $1.6k in your shop and paid and din doubt you wont send everything, but u haunted me over a mere $130.. bitch!

petty things aside, I LOVE MY PURPLE ROOM!! haha.. but d@ddy doesnt seem to accept that purplish-reality totally cos he kept saying that the whole room being purple has a kind of 压破感 ..but d@ddy, your baby loves her purple room okie.. rmm that i forgo platform in the house hor..heez..

this is a glimpse of my kitchen..

d@ddy suggested painted the cresent and five stars on National Day! CRAZY FELLOW! haha..

A spot for me to play hide and seek?!

Last thursay, we met up with our solemnizer outside Borders. For your information, he has no mobile as he doesnt believe in technology. Hence, he brought me back to the days where there was no mobile phone. I had to follow his instructions and to stay at the spot to meet him. Luckily, he is someone who is punctual..haha..Following next,we had dinner at Wheelocks. The settings @ Sake Sushi is unique! Jap style but well its not very convenient when you wanna catch hold of their attention lahz.. somehow their eyes like *tuck stamp*

d@ddy!

He commented that i look like as if he owed me a million dollars..

so this is the smile i fu yan him..

Today after my tuition, I went IMM to pay that stupid bitch.. and had Anderson for dessert..

while waiting for our dessert to come...

*couple fondue*

the greedy pig..

his pretty babe but i look tired hor.. haiz..

2008-07-29T08:21:00.002+08:00

maybe i did not make the right choice afterall. this is NOT the kind of life i want. it doesnt matter how great he is, there are still many factors that will ruin everything that is near perfection.

And i am truly, truly tired.

2008-07-15T08:15:00.002+08:00

For a moment, I thought that the world was crashing onto me when he solemnly told me about "discussion". And being the smart gal, i could guess whats the content without having to go into the discussion. And hence, i decided to let loose and to brawl. well, at least the issue has been "solved" and "settled" for another week or so. I cant help but have the feeling that another discussion is going to take place shortly after the ROM.

I can imagine myself not going back at all if there are changes. I planned so long to have a home of ours, never will I allow that precious plan to be destroyed. No, not even for short term. cos i know how draggy things can be. And i strongly believe if you have the will to do sth, nothing is impossible!

I am just safeguarding my happiness and my privacy!

SP services are going to commence tml, meaning more bills to pay! I cant wait for 21st July to come, meaning renovation is starting officially!! yeah!!

2008-07-11T07:57:00.002+08:00

haha SURPRISE Ms Jia Mei?! yeah i know the first thing you would do is to pop by my blog and kpo a bit right? haha... yeap, anyway time flies lohz... yup whatever i have to say, its written on e card yeah =) see u soon!

2008-07-10T08:17:00.002+08:00

hooray! we FINALLY got the keys to our very own house. the previous occupiers have finally shifted out to their new house and very soon, we can start renovation.. heez.. *happy happy*.. anyway, i realise there are tons of things to be seen, to be done.. e.g basins, curtains, blinds, extra set of sofa cover, dinning separator, designs of doors, designs of cabinets, book shelf, study table.. but the good thing is, most of the things are being purchased. Inclusive of renovations, we spent about $60 000 on the house.. more things coming up.. meaning to say we have to spend more, and meaning to say, we have more LOANS... OMG. *BROKE*

early in the morning, i got a surprise from d@ddy! haha.. yeap today is 15th monthiversary! love you loads, mr seahorse.. haha *muacks*

2008-06-23T14:40:00.003+08:00

here i am sitting in the HDB Hub typing this entry of mine. the Internet at his house is down and hence it deprived any opportunity for me to surf the net, let alone blog.

well, i have been working for three weeks. to be honest, at times, i feel like giving up but something along the way will definitely boast my morale again. be it the colleagues or the candidates. the people are nice and helpful. though its sales-oriented, there is no scent of politics. everything is okay, so far so good. just that they feel that i am too "lady". too femaine. haha..

i guess its the stress that's getting me. i just snapped at every small thing. for instance, the promotor at BEST DENKI told me to collect my redemption at Toa Payoh as i spent $500 odd on their products. and he simply said that i can go down anytime, no need to call anyone or to do anything to pre-inform the staff of my intention to go down. so naturally when i went down today, and they told me that its out of stock, they became the prey INSTANTLY. from a sweet gal, i turned into a bitch. i bitched the guy. and he got another guy to talk to me. so what? in the end, they arrange for the redemption to be sent to my doorstep. the point is, dont over-promise and under-deliver.

anyway, thats just a small case. the big thing is I AM COllECTING MY KEYS!!! yeah!! to my very own home, with d@ddy. haha.. but yea, i could only start the renovation in another month time cos we promise to let the seller stay for one more month as they need time to renovate their new house too. i do hope nothing will crop up along the way. =)

2008-06-15T22:45:00.002+08:00

i cant rmm when was the last sunday which i dun haf any tuitions planned. hence when today was tuition-free, i planned to sleep late. but alas i woke up at 7am and daddy wanna me to watch me in the field. so i went. i mean.. yeah i love him..so anything to make him happy..haha i am such a great gf.. oops i mean wife-to-be.. i cooked for him too ok. though its kinda plain. but well, at least i am in the process of becoming a good wife..haha..

i realise, ACTUALLY i am NOT that BIMBOTIC lohz.. there was this gal who went to support her bf at the field too.. and throughout she was holding an umbrella over her head lohz..hee..

went to shop for household items today..bought vaccum cleaner, iron and rice cooker.. cost us 570 in all. sianz.

2008-06-07T09:01:00.002+08:00

ok i haven blogged for approximately 2 weeks odd..so its time for some updates! let's see..well celebrated daddy's big 3 last week. as usual, his friends got him drunk at O Bar. Seriously, what is it with guys? I mean, yesh, its a once a year event and they are celebrating his big 3, he is no longer twenty-something. but it defeats the purpose of having fun. havin drunk and totally out of light just abruptly end the party, right? and his sister warned me that the same thing will happen on our ROM day. cos although only few of his friends are invited, they are not going to end the day like day. so apparently, the event doesnt stop at 6. well, i will just walk out of everything. try me. i really hate drunkards. really.

anyway, on the cheerful side of my life, i manage to shop! wohoo~ for the past two weekends, i shopped for working clothes to be worn for the coming week. I bought 2 dresses, 9 tops, 3 bottoms, 3 pairs of shoes. happy happy! and the happiest thing was that daddy was there throughout the shopping process. unlike the past, he readily helped me to look around, to pinpoint those that he liked. and one of the salesgirl even commented that i am very lucky cos such guys dont exist much. but well..haha.. there is room for improvement la huh..haha

last weekend while shopping, i wasnt in a happy mood cos he was drunk the night before. and he went to buy a dozen of roses. it was supposed to be a surprise. but guess wat he did! he just "na for u de." and handed me the bag with the flowers inside! so unromantic. *bleh*

i enjoy my work though sometimes i will look at the pile in despair.but well, at least i know i did my best le.

2008-05-21T00:11:00.003+08:00

exams are over. but i did not rejoice much cos i know i wont fare well. i have kinda make up my mind, but maybe for him, i will try to persist on. but we have to see the verdict. i am feeling v tired, my dark circles are surfacing yet i cant yet to sleep. for the past one month odd, i have had dreams every night without fail. even when i was taking a nap. i dreamt of my sec, jc and poly friends. i event dreamt of hunting mas selamat down at the forest behind my house. ha..

postponed the meet up with hpy as she was caught up in a meeting. shall meet up on sun for dinner. mon will be the first day of work. after that, will be tuition. i be working and working and working. i hope i be so busy that i can slim down yea. haha.. fat hope lohz.. i finished 4 fifth of a 550gram cheesecake myself. dun worry mako, i din puke this time. =)

finally caught the movie "made of honour"..waited two weeks for this movie. tears as i watched, laughed as i cried. damn nice.

daddy, i love you.

2008-05-18T20:31:00.005+08:00

after a year's on and off training, my boy finally mastered the skill of being a good companion for shopping. he has achieved some results by showing me a few pieces of clothing that he thought it's nice or that i would like them. nevertheless, there is still a vast room for improvement (like automatically hand me ur wallet yea =) ) i had loads of fun doing retail therapy recently. thank you my lurve. *muacks*

i cant wait for the end of exams, though i know my POA is a definite gone case. and thanks so much for rubbing in when i miscal the sums of my shopping hor, mr tan. soon it will be the first appointment. soon i will start work and got to prove mr tan wrong. and soon we have to start looking for contractor. and i cant wait to try out my ROM dresses~! but first, i need to lose maybe 5kg.. *yawn* yea..i am daydreaming again..at the rate i am eating.. 5kg? 500grams also hard lohz..eat and eat and eat..haiz..CHENRUIXIANG.. U LAH!

2008-05-13T00:52:00.002+08:00

one down. three to go.
in less than 12 hours, its 2 down 2 to go.
in less than 4 days, its 3 down 1 to go.
in less than 7 days, its FREEDOM.
in less than 14 days, its time to prove chenruixiang that i am up to that challenge! *humph*

i got my proposal ring, but not my proposal yet. haha.. and now he has trouble thinking wat to fill into that empty proposal ringbox. boOOooo.. i spoil ur surprise 2 times le..how about a 3rd, mr tan? WAHAHAHA *evil*

2008-04-21T09:40:00.007+08:00

yeah!!! happy happy!! my wedding bands are ready~!! wohOooO~!

.: bought them from Lee Hwa..=)) :.

.: ta-da!ours =)) :. .: the sweet wedding pillow~ :. .: the cert of our rings.. :.

went town ytd. supposingly to buy my slippers. but guess what? i din buy any clothes, or shoes or bags. i bought only belts. and guess what we buy? pillows, pillow case, bedsheet and quilt cover..haha..and d@ddy saw this hot pink-bimbotic pan with poka dots underside and showed it to me excitedly. he knew i will like it..haha..and i saw another very small pink kettle. so cute!!

2008-04-18T00:01:00.002+08:00

one of my bestie gf called and it led to a 2 hr odd chat. it wasnt time wastage(like what she feared) , rather i welcome the distraction from my books. its been sooOOoooo long since i chatted long on the phone. yesh, like what daddy and most of my friends know, i am very talkative with the people i am very close to and on the contrary, i will be very quiet with people i dont really relate to.

anyway, the whole point is, i miss her! haha.. feel so happy after all that gossipping and updates. =))

2008-04-16T11:55:00.002+08:00

i seemed to be floating on the sea. with high tides bringing me to the heights where obstacles and complications lay waiting to pounce on me. and the low tides are the times which i could catch a breather and immersed myself in revision.

the first appointment has been booked. It shall be on the 22nd of May. Haha, so timely. Just nice, in fact. 2 days after my last paper. Coolz. Meaning to say, i could date my gfs on the 21st May, period. And i shall be busy looking and getting quotations from several contractors.

Bought our wedding bands ytd at Lee Hwa. d@ddy said to look around first, and to purchase only on the coming weekend. But haha, he couldn't resist that ring too. Will upload the wedding bands next week when i get them. They are now on their way to have a resize surgery~!!

2008-04-11T09:40:00.006+08:00

Happy 1st anniversary!

.: our favourite~ :.

.: we eat veggie..

and meat! :.

.: seafood :.

.: mushy roomy :.

.: the smileless chef :.

.: his smiley (pretty) gf :.

2008-04-07T12:51:00.014+08:00

we finally went on a "date" on sunday to IKEA. haha..well, why do i say its finally a date? cos most of the time we are at home cos he's busy working on weekdays and sat i am busy with tuition and sunday we will be lazy to go out or have nowhere to go. but anyway, we started a slow jog on our essentials for the house. tested on the sofas, looked out for the lamps, the study table and the shelves..heez..in the we bought many glasses.. haha..a dozen of glasses,6 shots cups, two cups with saucers for our own use, a set of cutlery, dish drainer, a brush and a set of table mat. i wanna buy the poka dots places and bowls, but its too ex. its $5.90each. hmm..i wanna go back and buy some more! haha..

he looks so funny with the big yellow bag!haha

the poka dots i wanna buy..but its too ex! =(

its on our consideration list!

the dozen glasses

bought two of this. =)

my dinner at ikea

+*+ his +*+

ours =)

happy couple

2008-04-05T19:04:00.005+08:00

tired of studying..i am slow in revising.

weekends are boring.

bought a new phone with my bro's help. he signed contract, i take phone =)

stress. phobia.

2008-03-27T11:21:00.004+08:00

I dread going to the hospital. Its somewhere i dont really want step into. To me, going hospital is a waste of time. Because, all you do there is to wait, and wait, and to wait.

My youngest brother is doing some kind of heart study this afternoon. My mother asked my uncle to fetch them at 615am. The operation was supposed to be 8am. But it was then pushed back to 12pm. Get my drift? And he called me to complain. The moment he spoke, he shot with lots of vuglarites. Haha he complained of not enough sleep, complained of the poor effeciency. Complained of hunger. Complained of being sianz. In fact, he wasnt scare. He was saying "Ta ma de, ask me come so early register den wait. gimme me milo and biscuits nia. ni bei very hungry. later u coming down not? got hor, help me buy food. si bei yao." ^_^

And he was only wheeled in at 4.15pm.

poor d@ddy had food poisoning. woke up in wee hours to vomit. hope he will get well soon *muacks*

2008-03-24T17:09:00.002+08:00

STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

iNg is stressed and she happily binges on food. The outcome? Her face gets rounder, her body gets chubbier and her bf pinpoints at her fats. So the end result is i am even more stress than before.

I look forward to the end of exams and hope time will fast-forward when i am giving tuition, attending lecture, and slow down for me when i am doing revision.

Tml is the day when we are supposed to choose our unit, but well, we are left with only 2nd and 3rd levels. So we had a change of plans, due to some unforeseen circumstances. And i certainly look forward to shopping, though its shopping for household purpose.

Yesterday, after movie, d@ddy and I went cold storage to grab some dry products and fruits. We had a few bags. And this struck me. In the past, i carried lots of bags too - paper bags with my clothes, shoes. Now i carry bags too - plastic bag from supermarket. ^_^

2008-03-14T01:23:00.002+08:00

gosh. its too late to realise that i am on the "wrong" ship, isn't it? it took me 11 months to see what kind of guy my bf is.

as you know, my exams are around the corner and so being the 100% chubby me, i will eat and snack like no one's buisness. afterall i had been doing that for years. and so, this time, there is no difference in dealing with my stress. i had kfc for 3 consecutive days in a week, and twice randomly in the following week, i fed myself with lots of soft drinks, kinder in packs of 3 and 2 jumbo cans of pringles, going on 3. and ytd the-so-loving-bf looked at my arm and said "baby, your arm is getting thicker leh"

and today, i was so excited to having dinner (10pm, mind you) with him FINALLY and hence that explains my chatiness, and he went "baby, baby, u becoming ah-soh lehx..nag non stop.. like my mom! hahahhaha.." (very funny mehx?!)

and so i retaliated and said "wah ytd u said i fat, today u said i auntie!" on normal ocassions, he would humor and coax me like a baby. BUT the-so-loving-bf cracked up and said "so u are the fat ah soh lor"

kns

2008-03-11T01:19:00.003+08:00

dating with chenruixiang is a near-total new experience. i learnt how to pa-tor in a different way. the usual bimbotic ling would want to dine in a better environment with activities following closely after, to mark a significant date. well, but now, its a different story - simply because i have a busy bf. last week, i ate dinner alone expect fri, sat and sun. i waited for him at home while he was busy working and meeting up with clients. now, all i want is just a simple dinner affair with his attention on me. ha..dinner was simple but full of his craps and cold jokes. his cold jokes ended only when he fell asleep.

checked out the available sources and the prices. i never knew a simple affair to mark another significant chapter would cost such a bomb. my jaws simply dropped. but nevertheless, i guess, i will try to minimise everything and try to save as much as i could in these couple of months. and those are the people that i really love them to come, to witness, although it seemed to kua zhang... my darling, my hao peng you, my buddy, my usual angels..

loving someone isnt telling him/her verbally. it's allowing room in your physical and emotion space for that special someone. i once read an article from CLEO. the gf wanted a tiny pink corner in her bf's room. the bf rejected again and again. it was only until they broke up did the bf realise that the gf did not really want that pink corner, she only wanted to know that she is impt enuff to him such that he is able to make allowance for her, by giving a small corner that is pink to the gf, to show that she is impt to him, physically and emotionally. and i showed that pink article to my bf, constantly reminding him of this example to have my way. haha and now, the strictly-no-food-in-my-room rule has compromised. he has stock up drinks and food in a small corner of his room so that i can eat and drink anytime should the need arise. this is love. action speaks louder than words ya. =)

sigh, back to poa. =(

p.s xm : i wan mj!!!

2008-03-10T01:29:00.003+08:00

happy 11th monthiversary~!!

woah time flies. i've been "cheated" by chenruixiang for 11 months. haha..like i always told him, its kinda unbelievable that we have been tgt for so long. 11months may not be that long lah.. but ya i could still vividly rmm the whole process of how we met, which seemed like just not too long ago.. so subconsciously i still thought i am very young la.. but ya la.. its only my wishful thinking..haha

thank you love for making a point to nag at me constantly to study, though most of the time i will defy you by saying "you think i robot ah, not tired one meh" and i taught him the term DMR (diminishing marginal returns).. and sorry that, for these couples of months, you will have to sleep with the lights on. hahaha.. but hehs, you sleep and i study late into the night lehx.. hai..so when you read this post, pls dote on me more okie..

i wanna get my new bag soon~thz chenruixiang *gRInz* p.p.s pls let me have thhhhhhhhhhatttttttttttt uuuuuuuuuuunit..

2008-03-07T02:20:00.003+08:00

i cant remember when was the last time i studied so hard and so late into the night. gosh i am so brain dead. so many things to be read up, to be memorized. I am not someone good with essay especially when it cant be creative. i need to give them marketing language, accounting language and sociologist language. oh no.. i am just someone who speaks a mixture of mandarin, english, broken hokkien which people tot i am speaking teochew. hmm.. tired. i do hope i will pass my final exams..

went shopping almost immediately after my first mock paper with xm. and finally i can shop. contradictically, i had no shopping mood intially but the mood picked up as the day wore on. and the best thing is that i bought an item of each - a top, shorts, leggings, shoes, lingerie, nightdress, a bag (for chenruixiang), eyeliner. yeah.. and to top off, he has sponsored my buyings except the bag. heez..

pls, let me have that unit. pls pls pls.. and my ring~~ *grinz*

2008-03-03T17:59:00.002+08:00

Received a belated bday card from him. Guess he has a unique definition of special friend. Maybe to him, a special friend is someone who will perfectly understand why he dropped me like a bomb once he is attached. A special friend is supposed to forgive him for forgetting my bday last year, and sending me bday wishes 2 weeks late this year. Maybe to him, a special friend is supposed to understand and compromise to him in all ways. If this is friendship to him, then i am sorry that i had deleted him from friendster and facebook a day after my bday. But this is certainly not friendship, this is taking for granted.

If i am really a special friend of yours, someone you will never forget including the memories we once shared, as stated in the card, you will have remember my bday. Afterall, we had celebrated each other's bdays for 5 consecutive years since the age of 17.

Oh did i mention that being a special friend of yours, i have to swallow that disappointment when you still have to ask for my address in order to send me a card?

2008-02-29T11:54:00.002+08:00

I am always not in the best of mood whenever i am at home, or rather never in good mood. As usual, once i stepped in, i am ordered to do this and that. like my brother is invisible. Okay so i called in KFC Delivery for the Golden Fiesta.

During the first call, the lady operator happily took my order and then said "oh sorry we do not have crispy chicken in this restuarant." like huh?! and so i asked "so how am i supposed to get crispy chicken then?" and her reply goes "sorry there is no other way" and i said nvm i will call back later.

I called back a min after. This time its a male operator. It's his bad luck. He asked for my order and when i told him i wanted the Golden Fiesta, he said "sorry mdm the promotion has ended" i was like huh ended? and he said "yes it already ended." and so i lost my cool and shouted at him and hang up on him. too bad.

Inefficient.

2008-02-27T22:52:00.005+08:00

tired. very tired. physically. mentally.

its not a home. I dun like to go "home". I am afterall just like them, still a student. But how come the attitude is all different? tired. tired of going extra mile for you. i dun wan to give a damn. I just wish that i will never wake up once i fall asleep.

i only want a cozy home. tgt with chenruixiang, if possible.

too bad he's in camp, if not he will hug me and dry my tears. but nvm, at least baby is there to listen. thx gal

2008-02-26T22:41:00.005+08:00

pressie from angel darling and kel

i heart them!

surprise postage from mei chie

a card with heartwarming message =))

ta-da!! 3 dresses from her!! =)

2008-02-25T13:04:00.007+08:00

chenruixiang is doing his reservice for 10days. the past 4 days were a breeze(to me) cos i still get to meet up with him at night when he booked out. But for the coming 4 days, he would be spending time with his 5 team members trekking the forest. And i am going to miss him!! Yesterday he was folding some money neatly into a small plastic bag containing his spare battery. Being curious, I asked him why does he need money in the forest where there is nothing but trees, grasses, mud, soil and mosquitoes? And the reply was that, last year this man ordered mac delivery during the trek. So i supposed my dear boy is going to follow suit? haha.. oh btw, that man was caught ok.

shall update somemore when i am free. let the photos do some entertainment ba =)

the mastermind behind the kidnap

the kidnapper

the accomplice

in the car

the process of kidnapping

the people who made my day!

my cake and pressies =))

a pressie for myself

i cant resist buying another pressie for myself..haha

chenruixiang bought himself a watch too! the gd tastes credits to me *bleh*

from him to her =)

the surprise (that i see through) haha..

2008-02-21T13:56:00.003+08:00

Bias. Thats what i can say. I have class. He has class. But he doesnt! In fact, he woke up early to go out on a boat. Oh, so he has a penis. So that's what makes him outstanding? That's why he has the priviledge to have undisturbed sleep all the way into late afternoon? That's why an sms has to be sent to him when he is right in the house sleeping? Oh, did i mention that the sms was being sent from my room to his room, which is just approximately three steps away?

I merely wanted to voice out all my unhappiness but never did i expect it would turn out that ugly. Shocked. Irate. Anything. Whatever. Tired.

In fact, I dont like this home. Its not a home. The moment i stepped in, I would be pounced on to answer this and that. Can't i just enjoy my bowl of noodles? Hehs, so i am the only educated in the house? Hehs, just cos i dun have a penis, so its my destiny to support myself once i stepped out of college and to work and study? Oh so they have penises, so they can still stretch out their hands for money even at the age of 20. Even when he is working?! Oh so they have penis, so they are allowed to raise their voices and to show impatience and get away with it.

I cant find any peace in me once i am at home.I only laugh heartily, smile from the bottom of my heart when my time is spent with my bf and the usual hangouts. Otherwise, you will find me splurging or eating and eating. I need a getaway. =(

真的很累
真的很不开心

2008-02-18T11:40:00.006+08:00

I caught the movie "P.S I Love You" with chenruixiang. It was a tear-jerking movie and it successfully jerk tears out of my woodblock boyfriend. And i do do do hope that he could read between the lines and learn the moral of the plot.

If you truly love someone, you will go on extra miles for him/her.

Yes, i am still mad over my bday cum v day! I spent so much effort with xin mei travelling from woodlands to yishun and from yishun to city hall just to get the cheese for the tiramisu. And we had to take a cab from town back to our homes to take the containers and from there, we had to travel back to woodlands to create the surprise. And yet, the tiramisu is STILL sitting in the FRIDGE.

so am i suppose to call the fridge my BOYFRIEND?!!!!

P.S i nv once like to do any cooking or baking

2008-02-14T16:45:00.003+08:00

Happy Birthday to myself. May I grow prettier and slimmer. =)) Other wishes shall be granted their privacy.

A big thanks to all whom planned and staged the kidnap. Never once in my life do i imagine myself being kidnapped. But i experienced all of that on the last day of my 22nd. All i can leak is that i screamed a lot and i thanked my lucky stars that i was not carried and dumped into the boot of the car,not having plastic bags over my head throughout the journey but just being "blindfolded" by the strong hands of Kimmy, the kidnapper.

We celebrated outside our secondary school. An instituition that brought us together as a whole. As I walked on the familar ground, I was flooded by memories; happy, sad, bitter, sweet.

Thank you darlings for the photo as well as that heart-warming message. Eh i realised the messages to me are either in han yu pin yin or chinese.. thanks so much for testing my chinese..haha *kidding..thanks for the birki as well as the manicure set. And not forgetting the lovely pair of earrings from angel darling and kelvin. hee..its really very pretty *gRinz*

hmm its supposed to be our first Vday tgt. But initially things werent going smoothly because he did not plan anything at all. But at least he tried to make up by arranging some surprise after work. However, i saw through everything and he kept on complaining its not fun that i always see through.I admit i am somone who is difficult to please and i have very high expectations so.. Try harder my dear.

I always thought no close friends of mine would forget my bday as it falls on a V day. Surprisingly i was wrong. Kinda disappointed though but well nvm. Bcos most importantly, i have friends whom go through so much trouble to cheer me up, to surprise me, to choose something to the best of my expectations(the usuals), to call me to sing me a song (wendy), to call from Germany (liwen), to shop despite her busy fyp (angel & kel)..thanks peeps. Not forgetting i have a bf who always give in to my every whims =)

Went to browse through Lee Hwa again and i fancy a ring. but still, its not the best that i want for the big day. Hopefully the tentative date will be available to us. =)

2008-02-10T23:37:00.000+08:00

happy 10th monthiversary!

love you, chenruixiang

2008-01-24T22:08:00.000+08:00

i thought the worst was over for good. But i couldn't be more wrong when i received a call from aunt and immediately another from her. She was fighting not to let her voice tremble but it gave way ultimately. She was sobbing like a child. I was at loss. In disguise of my anguish, I had to play the role of the mother, to tell her firmly that it will be ok. But does the situation look that optimistic as what we wish it to be? Sad to say, i am rather disappointed in them. Very. I hope tomorrow will be a better day.

2008-01-21T10:22:00.000+08:00

好些失望
好些伤心

2008-01-01T23:22:00.000+08:00

happy new year to all!! may 2008 be a great and prosperous year for all my dear friends. may she recover fast and be operation-free soon.

on the brand new day of a brand new year, i received my very first and early bday cum vday present from my dearest chenruixiang!! its a ring from lee hwa which i finally decide on after viewing several shops. i really love the ring!! thank you d@ddy.. i love you!!!

2007-12-28T03:24:00.000+08:00

after marketing lecture, i went to the temple to pray. and on the way there, i was stopped by this lady who in turn refused to let me go and i had to listen to their preaches for half an hour when i finally showed them my "power" and regained my freedom. the very next second, i called my d@ddy and complained. haha.. i went for a quick shopping while waiting for d@ddy to end his gym.. bought a bag and a pair of shorts and headed to novena for the meet up. but alas when i let myself into the control station, i found out that the train was down for ten minutes (min) and see the mob, i doubt i could get onto the first three-restored-service train and hence i decided to scan the card and let myself out to take a cab. but it was a wrong move too because the fare from bugis to novena is only $6 plus but due to CBD and peak i have to pay extra $5 and i swore that i will not take cab anymore (and chenruixiang at this point will pat me and say "i listen ok?" ) anyway i walked up and down and the dizzy spell took over. i was momentarily stunned and i told myself not to faint. i guess its because i had not taken any meal yet. just as i wanted to sit down, the recuse came and we headed for steamboat as planned. an enjoyable meal cos i love steamboat! *yummy*

2007-12-25T10:50:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!

They say Christmas is a month of joy and giving. And so I decided to just shop and pay later. In just this month, i bought a shirt, a spare nokia batt, a fourleaves clover keychain, a Titus watch for him, Bengawansolo cookies, a pair of shoes and a top for myself. Ha I dread the credit card bill. And d@ddy got me a COACH bag which is on its way to me next week! hohoho and on christams eve, we got ourselves a camera which is my favourite new toy currently!! haha..

wow and in just a few more days, we have to kiss 2007 goodbye and welcome 2008 with the same enthusiasm, if not more.

In 2007, I witnessed some significant changes, ups and downs in my friends' lives, but I have to say that they are brave to embrace what's in for them, so may 2008 be a better year for them. As for me, the first three months is a horrible + terrible period for me. And I guess I have finally disentangle the knot in my heart because I find myself not caring or not looking forward to anything more from that friend. It had (past tense =)) been a long struggle and xin ku le darlings~! April 2007 channels me to another significant chapter of my life. To say that I am blessed to have chenruixiang with me for the past 8 months is an understatement. I am glad that my heart still feels the honeymoon stage till this date. And I am happy that he strives to improve as a bf in every possible way.

I love you chenruixiang! thank you for pampering me like a baby~ *gRiNz*

2007-12-15T19:17:00.000+08:00

haiz..why did i silent my phone and turn off the vibration? if only i did not do all those, it could easily or definitely be mine now.. sadded i fell in love with its elegance the moment i saw the picture sent across the globe. ugh~

and they were so nice to sms several times and even to call..i could only pray that the latter part of the region has what i want =(

2007-12-14T11:51:00.000+08:00

damn the school.
damn the assignments.
damn the tests.
damn my blues.

glad he's always there to cheer me up.

2007-12-03T15:24:00.000+08:00

was studying half way when i received liwen's sms asking to meet up cos she has finished her exmas. ugh but its such a bad timing cos my tests are starting. my resolution for Dec'07 :
- meet up with desmond poon (this thur!!)
- meet up with h@o peng you (long overdue bday!!)
- meet up with mei chie
- meet up with zhan hong tgt with ann
- meet up with li wen
- meet up with angel if i cannot make it to the xmas celebration
- meet up with the usual gang for xmas and countdown

wat the hell am i busy with?

2007-12-03T13:44:00.000+08:00

|iNg is sick again. ugh.. but this time its still not as serious as the previous time. At least my voice sounds "sexy" (puke!!) instead of "manly". haha well the former one is what i have been told okay. not my own opinon, though i seriously do think i sound ok wat... alamark~ and to top off, d@ddy is sick too! he is having sore throat too and i think this time round i spread it to him..

this morning i went to the doctor as i couldnt take the coughing spell anyway. it's making me hard to fall asleep with the constant coughing. anyway i kinda kinda suspect the doctor's qualification. here goes..

i stayed over at d@ddy's place so naturally, i went to the doctor near his place.

nurse : Morning, how can i help you?

}iNg : i wanna see the doctor..

nurse : do you have a record here?

|iNg : *shook head*

nurse : okay do you have ur IC with you..(without waiting for me to answer, she continued) or you din bring it along with you?

|iNg : *presented her my IC*

nurse : (look at my address and pointed to it) is this your old address? are you staying in woodlands now?

|iNg : nope.. that is my address i am staying at bukit panjang..

then came the doctor's part

doc : where is petir rd?

|iNg : bukit panjang

doc : oh so you are now staying at woodlands or bukit panjang?

|iNg : bukit panjang

doc : oh then how come you are at woodlands? whose hse

|iNg : my bf.

doc : oh i see..so are you a singaporean?

|iNg : yes

doc : so are you working or studying?

|iNg : studying

doc : oh studying at which institution?

|iNg : SIM

doc : so are you working any part time at all?

|iNg : no

i did not declare my tuition bcos i suppose he will continue to ask oh how many students do i have? wat level? wat rate? i am like.. did i enter the wrong room? why so much interrogation?

doc : ok so where are you unwell?

|iNg : (FINALLY!!!)sore throat with dry coughing.. sometimes i feel q warm as if i am having slight fever but most of the time, my temperature feels ok

and so he went on to take my temperature, to see my throat and to check my heart beat blah blah blah

doc : ok i will prescribe you medicine for fever, cough, sore throat

|iNg : oh i have fever? wats the temperature?

doc : oh no u dun have fever, but u say u feel warm so i...

|iNg : (looking at him sternly) HUH! WAT!

doc : oh okok i cancel away the fever medicine

wat a doc..

2007-12-01T14:18:00.000+08:00

Though he is in a pitiful state now, but i feel so amused as he poured out his sorrows to me. His intention was to ask me out for a drink but i did not pick up the call. And today, through sms-es, he told me how he felt. He, whose own mother fears his temper, actually mellow down to tell me the recent update. Well he has been MIA since he dropped the previous to pick up the latter. And my granny has always commented how he changes his gf like he changes clothes. It's so wierd that i am able to tell friends what to do when things go wrong in their relationships, but should similar situation happen to my relationship, i will not be able to think calmly and i will just bomb poor andy with lots of my nonsense. Maybe thats why people say to solve a problem, you must be objective and take a big step back to look at the whole big picture. only then will things be simplified. Do all gals like to say "break" when they quarrel? i dunno? and do all guys like to "leave the gal alone to cool down" instead of coaxing and humoring them?

2007-11-30T21:06:00.000+08:00

i caught the movie entitled "Enchanted" a few days ago. It beholds a very simple storyline - love. I guess those who know me better over the years would know that the books i read, the movies i watch, the gossip i am interesred in always revolve around love. Someone once told me that my expectation of love doesnt even exist in this harsh reality, only maybe in my sweet dreams. well, everyone has dreams, don't they. and if he loves you truly, he will do it to prove his love. And hence, i am super duper in love with this soundtrack from "Enchanted"

How does she know you love her?
How does she know she's yours?
(Marlon Saunders - Calypso Singer)
How does she know that you love her?
(Giselle)
How do you show her you love her?
(Together)
How does she know that you really
really Truly love her?
How does she know that you love her?
How do you show that you love her?
How does she know that you really really truly love her?
(Giselle)
It's not enough to take the one you love granted
You must remind her or she'll be inclined to say
"How do I know he loves me?
How do I know he's mine?"

Well does he leave a little note to tell you you are on his mind?
Send you yellow flowers when the sky is grey?
He'll find a new way to show you a little bit every day
That's how you know
That's how you know he's your love

(Calypso Singer)
You got to show her you need her
Don't treat her like a mind reader
Each little something to lead her to believe you love her

(Giselle)
Everybody wants to live happily ever after
Everybody wants to know their true love is true
How do you know he loves you?
How do you know he's yours?

Well does he take you out dancing just so he can hold you close?
Dedicate a song with words meant just for you?
He'll find his own way to tell you with the little things he'll do
That's how you know
That's how you know he's your love
He's your love

That's how you he loves you
That's how you know it's true

Because he'll wear your favorite color just so he can match your eyes
Plan a private picnic by the fire's glow
His heart will be yours forever
Something everday will show
That's how you know (x5)
That's how you know he's your love
That's how you know
That's how you know he's your love

2007-11-26T22:40:00.000+08:00

The recent unfortunate incident jolted my memories back to that fateful year. On the screen of the TV, what i saw was not what was being aired. Instead, I saw what we went through back for that two agonizing weeks during the search. It has been four years but the memories are still being kept close at the bay of our hearts. We minimized bringing her up, not because we have forgotten her, but for the fear of hearing the hearts break once more. All the missing and tears are to each's privacy.

Sometimes, i wonder, where is she? In small corner of my heart, i told myself maybe she is still alive afterall but just that she has lost her memory and is living in some village. I mean, afterall, i have actually seen people who look like her on the streets. And it involuntarily leads to staring.

i miss you.. and our dreams are still unfulfilled..

2007-11-23T10:35:00.001+08:00

人们常说
有情调又浪漫的男人最适合做为情人
不浪漫又实际的男人最适合做为终生的另一伴

但是，现在如果连拍拖都少了浪漫，那未来呢？

2007-11-19T12:42:00.000+08:00

如果你也听说

突然发现站了好久
不知道要往哪走
还不想回家的我
再多人陪只会更寂寞

许多话题关于我
就连我也有听过
我的快乐要被认可
委屈却没有人诉说

夜把心洋葱般剥落
拿掉防卫剩下什么
为什么脆弱时候
想你更多

如果你也听说
有没有想过我
想普通交朋友
还是你依然会心疼我

好多好多的话想对你说
悬着一颗心没着落
要怎么附和
舍不得又无可奈何

如果你也听说
会不会相信我
对流言会附和
还是你知道我还是我

跌跌撞撞才明白了许多
懂我的人就你一个
想到你想起我
胸口依然温柔

2007-11-15T15:55:00.000+08:00

for a moment, all the tiredness seemed to vanished miraculously when i learnt about my students' results. the moment i stepped into JR's house, she skipped to me and sang in joy that she achieved the 4th position in class. but what most important is that her maths is more stable now and as a reward for her, her father promised to buy her a laptop. i was like "wah.." haha.. hopefully her younger sis who is my new student would be getting results similar, if not better.

on my way home this afternoon, the guardiance called to inform me that Him, the thai student got into a government school. needless to say, i was elated. reason being, in the beginning of the lesson, i had to speak very slowly, biting my words very clearly, using hand gestures, actions and drawings to communicate with him. our lesson was a mixture of p1 to p5 work. and we were very worried that he could not make it to any local school. and another foreign student from the same household, managed to secure top for maths and chinese. english is still unknown. but all i ask for is for her to achieve either 1st or 2nd in class since she was the 3rd during mid-year.

now, my worries are on x.s and x.h who are waiting for their psle results.. *praying hard* =)

and about me, well i have to do assignments after assignments. first POA then MM(but MM i missed), i just completed Marketing and now i have to focus on Sociology. and after which i would have my Marketing test in two weeks.. ugh... wats more man...

chenruixiang, i heart you.. =))

2007-11-14T23:47:00.001+08:00

its kinda disappointing when i saw the updates. afterall it got me so excited and i certainly look forward to what belongs to us. but haiz..

2007-11-14T11:44:00.001+08:00

assignments after assignments. and soon it will be the time where by my students are back into my life, starting their holiday tuition. though it is supposed to help me financially, but i still wish for some quality resting time.

exams are also approaching in another 13 weeks. sigh. its only seemed like ytd when i just started my school. piles of lecuture notes are sitting on my desk vieing for my attention. hai. but as compared to my friends in nus, i am considered luckier for they are having exams next week. good luck to you guys~

looking forward to the holiday trip he promised..

2007-11-13T16:52:00.000+08:00

is there really no eternal sweetness?

2007-11-10T16:28:00.000+08:00

its all empty words.
its all empty promises.
its all bullshits.
just bullshits.

2007-11-06T22:38:00.000+08:00

ok, time for updates. mom was discharged ytd but she did not go to st luke (so evon, ha, she wont be at ur ward) and went to granny's hse to recuperate instead. reason being, there is no one at home most of the time, and there is a maid at my granny's hse to take care of her, since fall precaution has to be taken care of.

thank you chenruixiang for constantly visiting mom and wheeling her around. heez.. =)

and big thanks to darlings ann and evon. dun worry gals..thanks for being there.. and thanks evon for the help given =))

and not forgetting those who prayed and asked for her. thank you =)

the blur ling

2007-11-02T09:49:00.000+08:00

i really cant mulit-task..in my phonebook, my father was under Father and chenruixiang was under d@ddy. and i wana call my father in the midst of my blogging. but the absent minded me happily scroll up to d@ddy, thinking its my father and called.. and i happily waited for him to pick up.. and here goes..

ling : hello, pa.. pa!

d@ddy : hmmm...

ling : hello pa, you coming back liao?

d@ddy : haha you wanna find who?

ling : huh? ooh sorry sorry!

and i ended the call hastily.

2007-11-02T09:25:00.000+08:00

yesterday was hectic a day. woke up early in the morning at 5am to get ready to accompany mom down to the hospital for her operation. luckily, my uncle is able to fetch us there. if not, it will be a long journey for her.

early in the morning, i found that simple things the other party proclaimed done was not done at all. maybe there was some error in the midst of fax? i dunno. but i dun care. because that's her job. felt so fed up when i need to call up the agent again whom i hate talking to. she has the i-cant-do-anything-now attitude. keep pushing around to another department or to the hospital. many a times, it occurred to me that people think i am easy to bully when i speak to them nicely. its only startled them when i become stern and loud that they are more mindful of themselves. since that's the case, why should i try to be nice to you.

anyway the adminstrative clerk was very nice to admit my mom first without signing the letter first. then came the part where i could do nothing but wait. she was wheeled in at 8am. and the duration of the operation was supposingly to be 2 hours long. so i was expecting her to come out at 1030am, plus minus. but 1030am and my mom wasnt out. so i ask for her and they say they are still operating. come back at 12pm. i was like huh? 12?? and they said"ya its more to a major operation so will have more delay" i was like hmm.. ok.. so when i went back at 12pm, they checked and told me she is still under the knife. i was like.. er is everything ok? and i smsed daddy.. and with his assurance, i continued my wait till 2pm. and i was told the opearation finished at 1pm but i must wait until 3pm before my mother can be wheel out. so it was around 315pm when i get to see her. after tat i leave her in the care of my godmother and rushed down to the national skin center to see my doctor. and the waiting cycle repeats again..and by the time i am done, its 6pm.

2007-10-31T09:24:00.000+08:00

unlike the other students that i had called to terminate, i felt some weird feelings when i called to terminate angela. the conversation with her granny was tough as she was trying to pursuade me to continue with the tuition but seeing her results motivated me next to none. maybe its been going on 3 years that explains the wierd feelings. but i kept on reminding myself that although they are willing to pay a slightly higher price, and that she lives very near me, i couldnt bring myself to teach her anymore. but i felt like i owe her sth. hai.

SGH will be where i will be frequently for the coming week/months. yucks.. speedy recovery to her.

2007-10-26T15:02:00.000+08:00

无奈，真的感到好无奈
优惧不断与日俱增
而我却选择逃避

真的不容易去适应
时间也无慈悲地
奔跑着

他们常问
功课如何
要多加油
之少一定要取得
二上级

我只是微笑
并带着情松的语气
"嗯"了

其实私底下
压力不浅

我佷累
很辛苦

2007-10-22T22:51:00.001+08:00

somehow, i am kinda horrifed that i couldnt 100% understand the message that the news broadcaster from channel 8 was trying to bring across. i couldnt make out the chinese words that were being said but as a form of consolation, i kinda guess the message vaguely. and well, i hit the nail *wink*

when the law 377a was mentioned, i cant helped but associate it with him. and when i dropped by his blog (true enough,i must add), he was voicing out and getting signatures to be sent to PM from NYC.

it all came back as a strong scene to me. it all explains his anger about marriage. but he shall remains whom i respect and look up in awe.

2007-10-21T00:25:00.000+08:00

thank you d@ddy... *muacks*

2007-10-17T23:24:00.001+08:00

tired tired tired tired...

2007-10-16T16:16:00.000+08:00

the result of having tiramisu, chocolate cake thickly coated with chocolate and chocolate ice cream is having a voice that sounds like a boy. well, thats according to my student. she was so amused by my voice that she asked what happened to it. and she happily answered her own question by asking "oh i know, you never drink water right?" and she went on to add that i sounded like a boy. and so i entertained her by asking her to imagine that for the next few days she had a change of tutor. haha..

i was kinda surprised when she wanted me to continue teaching her son for next year. but i din gave her any reply. i dunno. i mean, it isnt a happy working relationship. i dun like her style and thinking regarding her son's future and intelligence. she dun like to give me freedom and flexibility. but i need the money in the near future or even in the long run. hmm..

sometimes, in the midst of blaming people, did you ever stop and look at the bigger picture? or you think you are always right?

2007-10-11T23:34:00.000+08:00

why do people just want to take things for granted? its such a sad world. and why do people want to read news everyday only to learn more about sadder things taking in another corner of the world? to comfort ourselves that we arent the worse? to be contented with what we have today?

that sms really just spoil my whole day. but my friends crack me up once again with their jokes. i will be counting down to the last 10 days to my service. dun give birth if u dont have the patience to teach. money cant buy intelligence. patience, encouragement and faith do.